Hello

Errrrm hello.

I’ve seen you here before.

Have you?

Yes…I come here most days…breakfast.

That’s handy…

They do a nice breakfast.

Do you go for the small or the all day.

I go for the small…haven’t got the time for the all day.

VERONICA LAUGHS:

Yes.

PAUSE:

Can I sit down?

Errrrrm?

Here.

Yes.

I’m Les….Lesley. I know it’s a girls name but my mum thought she was having a girl and spent nine months calling me Lesley….she got used to it…I still haven’t.

Oh.

For the first two years I was dressed in pink. She was well prepared and didn’t want to waste everything she bought.

Fair enough.

That’s what I thought…She’s a very practical lady.

That’s nice.

I don’t wear pink now though.

No?

No…I know it’s the in colour and it takes a man to wear pink…but no…not for me…been there done that.

Yes.

I like brown now….

Oh.

PAUSE:

So you come here often?

Yes…saves on the washing up.

Good…I mean good.

PAUSE:

Is your name Petula?

What?

Petula. I’ve seen you around and I gave you a name….Petula. You look like a Petula.

No!

Oh.

Veronica.

Where?

No! My name’s veronica.

Oh.

Yes.

Oh…That’s nice.

PAUSE:

Not Petula?

No.

Veronica?

Yes.

Nice.

Thank you Lesley.

Are you eating?

I have done…I’ve got to go to work.

Oh yes. Me too.

What so you do?

Do you know the offices in town where they design computer programmes that go around the world making millions of pounds? They all wear nice suits and drive big cars.

Yes.

It’s the place with the flashy sign and the electronic doors.

Oh yes.

All the car park places have their registration numbers emblazoned in the space. This is my space! Do not park here!

Yes.

It’s the place where you know the people who work there are important and very, very wealthy.

Yes

I work across the road from there in the sorting office of the post office.

Oh.

Sorting letters…addresses in to the right pigeon hole. It’s quite an important job…you know, sorting out peoples correspondence.

I bet it is.

Yes…you get to know people…without actually knowing them. There’s the people who get hand written letters – nice people, lots of pen friends, you can imagine them sitting at home with a nice cup of tea and a garibaldi all set right, like…ready to open the letters.

Yes…nice

Then there’s the people who get bill after bill after bill. I feel like sometimes popping round and saying…buck your ideas up and pay your bills on time. You could help save the planet.

Oh.

Then there’s the catalogue people and the book people, the special offer people and the county court judgement people…now that’s more common than you could imagine round here.

Really?

Then there’s the collectors, the company directors, the specialists and the well wishers.

Oh fascinating.

Then there’s the magazine brigade. Dirty, dirty bastards. I never thought I’d be so pedantic about wearing latex close fitting, smooth feel, hand gloves.

Listen I must go.

Oh Yes.

Oh.

THEY BOTH STAND UP:

Can I…

Yes?

That’s good.

No…what? Oh…

Can I take you for a drink…sometime? Say no if you don’t want to. I mean…a stranger coming up to you in a café…well not a stranger I’ve seen you around....watched….you…not watched – no binoculars…I mean…but you’re part of the area.

Yes.

What.

I’d love to go for a drink.

Lovely.

Yes. Bye then.

Oh Bye.

Bye.

Wait…my number.

Oh…yes.

LESLEY RUMAGES IN HIS BAG AND PASSES A PAIR OF BINOCULARS FOR VERONICA TO HOLD AS HE GETS OUT A PEN AND A PIECE OF PAPER:

Thanks…

I’ll call.

Ok Lesley.

Ok Veronica.

SCENE END: